I'm almost finished with my 8 week class with SARK, all about identifying and moving forward with my dreams. It's amazing how much movement can happen in just 8 weeks when I've felt stuck for years! In some ways, I've always been a bit charmed. I can truly learn anything, make anything, build anything. New ideas and projects come easily to me, and I just tend to rise gracefully to the occasion.
Traditionally, though, I would start to wane at the first sign of overwhelm. I felt I had to do it all by myself. This message had been firmly reinforced by important people in my life, so it felt very true. I would pull back from my project, redirect my attention to safer and more immediately necessary things (like laundry) and the next thing you knew, the project was shelved. Then I set about beating myself up. "You ALWAYS quit!" I would say. "You just don't want to work that hard! You can't do it! What were you thinking?!"
Through this class with SARK, my prayer work and lots of consciousness awareness, I have come to the following agreements with myself:
- I can change what I "always" do at any time. I can change it right now. I can change it again tomorrow if I like. I am NOT a prisoner of my past choices.
- I do have to keep my life running, but my projects are important, too. If I make one or two tiny steps in the right direction every day progress will happen. I give myself permission to make those steps as delightful as possible.
- Help is my birthright. When steps feel scary, hard or upsetting, I am allowed to outsource them. I am NOT allowed to ignore them, pretend they aren't necessary or skip them altogether. I'm also not allowed to freeze or fail to continue my forward momentum. I just need to find someone for whom they are easy and let THEM handle it!
- My soul is big. My personality is big. There is no such thing as a dream that is "too big" for me. Ever. Not matter what.
- Who do I think I am? God? Yes! If God is all there is, and everything is God expressing into form, then Yes! I exist! I AM God expressing into form. So, who do I think I am? I AM!
Labels: agreement, business, choice, class, dream, Lezli Goodwin, project, SARK